Heartache

I was reminded today how hard it is to heal a broken heart.Going through some old files I happened upon a reminder of a time of brokenness.Immediately the heart started to ache.Even as I sit here,hours later the hurt remains.A single ,defined loss is hard but loss on every level of one'slife is sometimes overwhelming .Sometimes I just want things to be like they once were-knowing of course ,that that won't happen. I know that my faith grew during that time and I found out what really mattered in my life as well as those people who really cared about me.I saw the healing power of forgiveness.But times like this remind me of the loss.The disappointment in myself. I guess I thought some things would never touch our family - but I was wrong.I got too busy and I had no time for the most important of things God.Instead of first place in my life ,well He was in the top ten.I can say this now after five years have passed ,and even with an aching heart,that nothing comes close to having God first in your life anything else will eat you alive. I have peace now .Not nearly as insecure as I was before.That happens when you relie on God instead of yourself to be your gps.Nothing stays the same and change is a part of life.And some heartaches are earned and some just come at us for no reason.And yes I wonder if my heart will always hurt