Looking Back

The last week in my fifties- my how the time has flown by.Each decade brings about things we must adjust to.In our 20's we usually finish college,get married and start a family.We buy our first home and begin our journey into adulthood.In our thirties we are usually on our second or third job and our family is expanding along with the financial pressures that go along with that.I use to think we would be rich if we ever got to quit buying diapers.Turning thirty was my hardest birthday.I guess it meant I truly was getting older and that my youth was officially ending.In my thirties I went back to school to become a chiropractor and that was a challenge .I started a practice in Calhoun,Ga.That was November1986.My rent was $500/ month.I worked by myself for 3-4 months before hiring Nancy who would be with me until 1995. In 1992 we built a new building as my thirties were drawing to a close.I started playing senior league baseball on Sunday afternoons -we get so busy sometimes we forget how to have fun.Baseball was my first love.It was the first thing I was really good at.Those five years I played -well they taught me the value of having something to look forward to and the importance of being part of a team again-Jolene thought I was just trying to get out of going to church on Sunday evening.The forties are a time of evaluation.We took an Experiencing God course at Floyd Springs Baptist Church.We both said "Lord we will go and do whatever You would have us do".The next thing I knew we were in Cleveland,Tn taking care of 12 foster kids plus our three.That was 1995 and that lasted until 2008.The forties were a busy time of raising kids and going to hundreds of basketball games and way to many soccer matches.We lived in a small house for 7years and then moved to Golden Pond which was 7000 sq ft.over looking a lake.We also got to live in an extended stay hotel for 3 months and go to New Smyrna Beach for a dozen years. During that time I was so busy "Doing things for people " that I was too busy for God.How foolish that was.In my fifties now I felt bone tired and like Jolene and I were on opposing teams.I truly felt like all my prayers were falling on deaf ears and there was no way out of this maze.That we were stuck.In those dark days if you turn to anything other than God you will be eaten alive.Our world fell apart and my mistakes challenged everyone in our family.The fifties were the best of times and the worst of times.I hit rock bottom and took my family with me.It has been my hardest decade but perhaps my most rewarding one.It was a time to confront and deal with things.To know that love will endure no matter what.And at our lowest point God and family will not desert you. I finally learned to play the guitar and I started writing this blog.I know what I want and I have more peace. My
kids who are no longer kids are my best friends.My wife and I have a deeper love for each other.I take one day at a time now.Grand kids were a big part of my fifties. Pure joy when I think of them.
I don't mind turning sixty.Most of the men in my family never made it this far.Next Saturday we will have a riverboat sunset cruise with friends and family to celebrate my sixtieth birthday. A poem I wrote a long time ago comes to mind.
                                                                  Looking Back
Cadillac dreams and Volkswagon realities cause me to reminisce upon occasion .
And when I do I think back to red wagons and times I use to be a Texas ranger.
I built a house when I was three and I saw the world tumble down at five.
I started digging a hole to China with a spoon until someone told me I couldn't .
You know I'm not much for spoons now or people who plant limitation.
There is beauty to be found in crowds
Yet there is a peaceful satisfaction in just being alone
Sometimes pride chases a tear away but a thought from a little boy yesterday reminds me of better times
Now in between what might have been and what will come to pass
There will be I'm sure misforgotten promises and dream like broken glass
So smile at your sorrows and reminder the blind can see
And at times tears are needed to bring back a memory.

We Just Do The Best We Can

I was riding down the road the other and the car in front of me was carrying 3 mattresses  and the driver was holding onto them with his left arm.At first I smiled at the sight as I thought of a Seinfeld episode. Then a wave of sadness hit me. The guy probably had to be out of his apartment that day and with little money or gas put 3 mattresses on his car-held by one rope and one arm and a prayer.To borrow a line from Jessica -It is easy to be critical of others for those of us who have never walked down anything but a privileged path. my reaction that day turned from laughter to tears to admiration. We all just do our best,and sometimes that means carrying 3 mattresses on your car and holding on with all you've got.

We Just Do The Best We can

You can rest in heaven

Last week we went to see some old friends.It was only my second trip to their house in Franklin ,N.C. For over 30 years we had spent every Thanksgiving together.It seemed like every year we would add more and more kids until we peaked at the four of us and around 20 kids.We are all racing toward 60 and Catherine was the first to arrive.2007 was our last celebration together.It was our final year in foster care.Jerry and Cathy got their second wind and went to China and got two boys.They now have 6 or 7 kids and all together maybe16 now.They make it look so easy but it is not .It is the quiet examples of love that speak out to us.The total commitment to do those tasks that others walk away from.They could be retired and living "The Good Life" . I am sure there are days when they think about that but then they simply put on their parenting hats as they have done every day for 35 years and get busy.We rarely tell each other how much we love and appreciate the time we shared and the example that you have been of Christ'slove on this earth.As we made our way out the door I hugged Jerry and Catherine and told them they could rest in heaven.By the way next month they will be getting another boy from China -Amazing!