Hickory House

It had been many years since I'd been in the house.As we walked thru each room so much of us was still there.The tiles in the kitchen and bath,as well as the bedroom in the garage .Years of memories and the faces of all those we had shared time with.Steven asked how could 15 kids and 2 parents live in a house this small.It had a strange coziness about it.Jolene and I use to sit on the porch and watch all the kids get off the bus from Hopewell.The first year we were there it snowed so much the kids were out of school 13 days-I was ready to shovel the roads myself towards the end.Endless laundry and meals to prepare.I was at the school so much I should have had an office there.The 40' x80' basketball court we poured-my first and last concrete project.Being an only child and then having 3 of my own well 15 kids was overwhelming.Someway some how God gave us the strength and the sanity to get thru it all.We have a way of pushing all the hard places to the rear and only remembering the good times.After making my way thru the house I realized that I really didn't miss the house but I did miss the people and that time in my life.As we go out the door I look at the playground overgrown with weeds and in there places I see the kids playing and the green 15 passenger van with all the girls in the back-they talked way more than the boys.I see a long dining table full of people that has turned into 2 people eating in their recliners.I see a lot of miles and a lot of memories.A long time gone.

Feed My Sheep

It seems so simple the statement Christ made "feed my sheep". It is far easier to write that check or simply drop that change into the kettle.And while giving to fund ministries is so vital nothing replaces that giving of oneself to a cause or an individual .I have found myself these last few months having to push myself .To give when I really didn't have the funds or the energy to give.Thinking "well I've done my part,time for someone else to bear the load for a while.Then I tell God what would you have me do now and the words resonate so clearly "Feed my sheep". I am helping a guy who got out of prison October 1st .The state of Tennessee gave him some jeans and a t-shirt ,a bus ticket and no money-who is in charge of that system?It takes a few weeks to get his birth certificate from Delaware ,a state ID, his social security card, and his food stamps started.I pay a fee to get his drivers license reinstated .He passes the written test and another test of my faith comes up -the lady says I may can work in the driving test today.We are in my wife's new used car and this man hasn't driven in 10 years.So he drives around the building 3 times and off they go.I pray hard for 15 minutes and they come back safe and sound.I was happy for him but there was no joy in the task for me .I talk with God about that.Am I a horrible person.A reluctant disciple or selfish.His answer surprises me -alone you are weak but I can always use you if you will call on me and yes even reluctantly "feed my sheep". Looking back over the last few months I am so grateful that I heard God speak and that I responded.Romano had the best Thanksgiving ever with our family.He got his first cell phone ever the other day that he paid for.He even took me out to eat.He has saved $700 and in a few weeks he will have a 1991 Camry that we have all driven the last 10 years.God has blessed my 2 kids with a thriving business and they have given Romano a chance to work.Being able to make a living is the major step in being able to regain your life.So thank you Jess and Damien.You see we are all only a breath away from having it all to being without.God never gives up on us .Romano is so much better off than he was 3 months ago.And yes I had a part in that.But a few years ago God got me and my family through a very difficult time.It changed us all.Less judgemental now ,we listen for that soft,still,voice saying "feed my sheep" .It has always been there but like most of we thought He was talking to someone else.

Spur Of The Moment

It was a spur of the moment trip.One more get away before Xav goes back to Austrailia for good.The cabin was perfect as was the game room adjacent to it.We hiked to the waterfalls and sat by the fire as the creek rolled over the rocks nearby.When Xav and I talk God is always apart of the conversation.This time was no different.It is hard to say good bye to special people like Xav.He has traveled all over the world and will go back home with a life-time full of memories and only one suit case.Most of us go off for the week-end with more than that.That night JJ and I played pool.Addie,Cooper JJ and I played Old Maides -somehow I lost and I can still hear them laughing.The next Day we went hiking and Addie and I ran and hiked .She definitely will be a runner one day!Of course that night she was exhausted.We got to see Jessica love on her kids and have coffee with her.Jolene and I were reminded how much we missed those times.We saw Damien and Christerfer talk about him going to South America.I took a picture of all the Kenworthy Guys at the waterfalls-a picture they will all treasure.As Xav was leaving we shook hands and held on for a little longer than usual so much to say that words aren't enough sometimes.

Going Back

November has always been challenging for me in some ways and amazing in others .Josh was born Nov. 13th and my Dad passed away 54 years ago this month.One of my favorite people celebrated her 106 birthday so we took a trip back to our hometown-Rome ,Ga.We first ate pork chops ,rice and tomato gravy,and a pear with Helmans mayonnaise and cheese with my Mom.Next we saw Jimmy and took him 4 Kystall hamburgers and Mrs Hayes .We had our picture made with both of them-at 106 we may not get another chance.Then we went to Aunt Elaine and Uncle Jim's house 82&85.Of course Elaine was worried about her house being messy but we told we came to see you not your house. She gave me an old poem that Grandmother had written.She always gives me an old treasure from the past.I worry with all of our technology now that notes and pictures will be absolute in a few years.Our next stop was Joe and Loraine's  for supper-soup and turnip greens - doesn't, get much better than that.Our final stop was at Debbie Stuarts house.Our kids had grown up together and Larry had helped me run Pak-Rite . It is a rare thing to visit folks these days. We text and of course talk on our cell phones and of course there is Facebook . As a child we use to sit on the front the front porch and talk guess we are all too busy for that now.I use to know everyone on my street and now I barely know my next door neighbor .In1995 we moved from Rome and lost touch with our friends and family .Foster care and raising our kids kept us so busy.We will go back and visit but this day will be special for us.Sometimes you just need to hold onto to things one more time before they are gone for good.

Ethyl B Hayes

Could it be possible that Mrs Hayes could be 106.She can no longer love on kids like she did decades ago but she still wears that same smile that warms your heart.Her and her husband never had kids of their own but make no mistake she has more children than anyone I know.When we looking for a babysitter the name that kept coming up over and over was Mrs Hayes.She was the perfect combination of toughness mixed in with gentelness.The kids never went away hungry for food or affection from her house.She learned to drive after she turned 65.I think she thought the speed limit was somewhere near her age.Justin always asked for pancakes just like Mrs Hayes makes.One of my favorites things she use to ask me after we started doing foster care"has Jolene had enough yet?"I use to wish she had been my Mother.She was everything that you would want-hard worker,big heart,close to God,always smiling and fun to be around.She told me one time -Lidelle you are the nicest man to ever walk through my door-few words have meant more to me.One day I went by to check on her and she was sick.She would go to the hospital and come out without most of her fingers and toes.That would have devastated most of us but it was merely a bump in the road to her.A week later she was driving and making apple pies. How hard is it to button a shirt sometimes with all your fingers, somehow ,she managed to button her dress with her thumbs only.Where does an attitude like that come from? Maybe working 12 hour shifts for 40 years in a cotton mill, or taking care of a mother-in-law for 20 years.Someone who is always thinking about others before herself.An angel on loan to us for a little while. Someone who teaches us how to love and how to live by her example. As I hold the nubs of her fingers she smiles and says her feet are cold.I reach down and put the boots on and the blanket over her cold feet.She potty trained Jessica,Josh,and Justin. Poured her love into them everyday for years.Treated them like they were her grand kids .We have loved this sweet lady for 30 years.Jolene and I had our picture made with her most likely for the last time.Sometime in the near future she will be going home.On that day all that passed her way will give thanks for for her having passed our way!

No Words

It was a Divine appointment with an assist from Jolene and myself.When feelings are hurt between family no words are necessary sometimes.So we had breakfast and we looked at the house they will move to soon.Too many people for one car so they rode together.You never think that two people who grew up together would ever ever grow apart.It happens and it happens in all families.Their kids would run and throw sticks in the water.Boo would never tire of fetching the stick out of the water.And of course Julian and Cash thought that doing that was better than Six flags.We would get a picture of the kids under the tree throwing up leaves.Your kids are without a doubt one of life's greatest joys.Up until about 7 years ago I thought our family was invincible. I know that was foolish and prideful now.So each day now my wife and I ask For God's help for every aspect of our life but especially for our children and family.We had been praying for this day not even sure we could arrange this ourselves but confident that God could.We are all very fragile when it comes to matters of the heart.We get so busy that we sometimes forget to do the little things that are so special- call, text,stay connected somehow or as Jesus said LOVE.As two of my kids watched their kids laugh and run and throw leaves on each other I saw them smile at each other - like I said no words are necessary sometimes.

#10

We grew up together playing play both organized and in the backyard.Sometimes it seems like yesterday and other times it seems like only a dream.I think back in the day all of us at one time or another wanted to be Richard Haggard.Good looking,great mom and dad and a beautiful sister.He was probably the best athelete ever to come out of Model High.He gave me a ride home many times in that 1957 Chevy.I still wonder what he would have done at the college level playing either football, baseball ,or basketball.I remember his senior year Coach Tuggle decided our best pitcher-Richard should be our catcher and he played like he had been doing it his whole life.Three awards as most valuable player in the 3 sports he played.Richard represented everything I wanted to be and have.Your family inspired me to one day have a family like yours.Although Richard and I lost touch after high school our time together continues to be very special to me.May the Lord hold you close and put put your broken heart back together. I am so thankful for having known Richard and so blessed that he passed my way. Lidelle

Hope

Most mornings before getting out of bed and that first cup of coffee, I say Thank You Lord-I am Yours,let everything I say and do glorify You.I have found when I do that my attitude is so different.My intentions will be purer.Not my will but Thy will be done.So this day began as any other.One patient after another.As I told Justin a few weeks ago sometimes the best medicine is not medicine at all-it may be a smile,the touch of your hand on their shoulder,or a silent prayer sent up on their behalf.I had first seen the man 6 weeks ago.He had enough health problems for several people and he was losing hope.On our first visit he talked about his headaches and tightness in his midback.The thing that really got my attention was when he said his lower back was his biggest problem but it was too bad for me to even touch him.Those are the times when I have called out to God what shall I do-be my hands ,guide me Lord.So we began.A divine appointment that would effect us both in different ways.Now the man walks in with a smile on his face,looks me in the eye and says ...I had lost hope but I have a life now thanks to you.For a moment I think back to all the events that had come together to put me on this path-an encouraging wife,selling our house and a building in one week,the Owens moving out of the "pink house" after living there 20 years,and of couse driving from Rome to Life everyday for almost 4 years.It truly was a leap of faith on a path made by God.Now almost 30 years later I am still amazed how God uses us especially those of us that should have been discarded or who seem so unworthy.As the man prepares to leave I tell him how thankful I am that he is doing better and that I am grateful to have had a hand in the process.

Collide – Howie Day Lyrics & Listen

Collide – Howie Day Lyrics & Listen

The Gift

As I sit on the back porch I start to cry as I think back to last night as Jessica softly said" we are having a little boy".The gift of life is a priceless treasure.Damien and Jessica continue to amaze me with their courage to step out in faith and their abundant love for their little ones.They will move in a few months to their new home 40 minutes away.There there will be 4-wheelers,swimming,and woods to wonder in. A haven for growing memories.Of course as a grandparent you want to protect them all from danger but not keep them from living life to the fullest.As I sit here I am reminded of the seemingly never ending to do list that I wake up to.That really is the trick to life-be productive yet enjoy being with those you love.In a few weeks all the kids will gather in Lexington for a rare get together.Of course we will have an endless selection of names for the little fellow.Jessica got a dog a few months ago and by phone we all text suggestions.When Justin texted "Blokkey" I thought he was joking and of course that was the name they chose-maybe we should wait until he is at work before we suggest any names.Since they had 3 boys and 1 girl the natural choice would be another girl,however, we know that God always gives us what we need.February 28th will be here before you know it -better get started thinking about names.

David

September 1st was the third year since he left us.Sometimes it seems like only yesterday since he was here and at times it seems like it has been forever. He was about 10 when I first met him.He had 2 pretty older sisters and 2 younger brothers but even back then you just knew he would be someone very special.I always enjoyed watching him play basketball. He would have been a great coach.I would date his sister for a few years and eventually we both wound up at Berry College playing baseball and sporting curly perms.Of course he would be going with Brenda and I would eventually win the lottery and marry Brenda's sister Jolene.So many miles and so many memories shared.David would become the brother I never had.When Lamar and Patsy's daughter Christy died in a car wreck David was there loving them through that time.Once when I hurt my back he came and prayed for healing-the first and only time any one had done that for me.We both had restless spirits.Both looking for something.I remember making 5 calls over several weeks to Rome about them getting into foster care. Finally they did and ours paths were linked again.David would fall and a short time later I would fall even further.Almost five years later I am still trying to make sense of it all.I always thought David ,Brenda ,Jolene and myself would grow old together.Watch Georgia football.Spoil our grand kids,and talk of all the times we shared.I feel so fortunate to have known him and so blessed that he passed my way. I guess the inevitability of time does add beauty to the moment.As Jessica wrote "Remember all the good times and simply blow the others away.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ca9ub9rpNK4

Jessica

How could it be that my first born will be 34 in a few days.Where did the years go?It only seems like yesterday she was sitting in my lap driving on the bumpty road of our first house. I can still see her riding on the horse of the gym set that took Joe and I all day to put together. She was probably the fastest Hot Wheel driver ever as she rocketed down the drive way and turned on 2 wheels down the sidewalk.And how could I ever forget the day her and Jamie painted each other with lipstick-all over!When Josh was born she was so cute as she watched over him and in effect became his biggest admirer.I can still recall how strong willed she was and how she cried when she didn't want to wear a certain outfit to the Coosa Valley Fair.When I was working way too much she came crying one day to me saying Daddy you aren't spending enough time with us.I learned a valuable lesson that day.I remember the first time we went running together at Berry.Down The dirt road to Possum Trot her head started to pound and she wondered how her old dad could run farther than she could- that day would be the first of many runs we would share. At 12 she would begin making the turn that all fathers dread-from girl to young women.I remember her walking ahead of me at a basketball game and seeing the boys heads all turn toward her-what are you looking at young man ? That is not a girl that is my daughter! The teen years are always challenging. Boys,clothes,cigarettes on her breathe.....fortunately they can only last 7 years.We moved several times and so she had to change schools 3 times. The last time she decided just to get her GED and go to college.And I forgot to add move out of state and add 12 more kids to our new home. She has always done well with change although I am sure it was painful.In a house too small we built her a bedroom in  the garage.She survived bugs and all.As Josh and then Justin became more and more renowned for basketball she became known as their sister.I think both today would be glad to be known as Jessica's brother's.I remember on the last night she was home before going to college at UT -we were in the kitchen and it hit me this was her last night at home. I started to cry ,then her  and Jolene.No words were spoken as we held each other.She would go on to get her Masters in Speech Pathology.She would meet the man of her dreams and eventually marry him.We would have the rehearsal diner on Halloween and we all would dress in different costumes -I always wanted to be Elvis as did 2 other guys that night.The wedding was so beautiful and the reception at Golden Pond was spectacular with all the fall colors in bloom.A few years later we would begin to train for a half marathon.Jessica was about 2 minutes per mile faster than me so I would be dying after every run.The only thing that saved me was about half way thru our training she found out Julian would be arriving so she 'slowed down' to my pace.We would run every step together for 13.1 miles -one of my most prized memories.Perhaps my favorite run of all time was at Golden Pond .Jessica pushing Julian and me pushing Cash . It starts to rain when we begin and we run 4 miles in the rain.All of us are soaking wet but loving it.One day our world falls apart and there Jessica is right by my side.The time is so hard no one will ever know hard it was.How some days I am barely holding on and the only thing that saves me is the sound of her voice.I see her with all of her children and I marvel at how she loves them.I see her and Damien and thank her for giving me another son and him for being such a loving husband and father.I worked all day building a patio before you were born- I was totally exhausted.At about 9pm they came home and said tonight was the night.I tried to play a few things on the guitar but we had to go to the hospital about midnight.The next day about 4 or5 you were born.Carrot red hair.I was from the first moment I laid eyes on you amazed that God would bless me with such a gift.34 years later I am even more amazed and oh so thankful for you! I Love You Dad

Pray and Keep Gum In Your Pocket

In a few days my last natural child will get married thus officially ending our run as parents.A few weeks after that and Melody our last chosen daughter will marry. It is a time of mixed emotions for my wife and I.No doubt we are older and our energy levels aren't what they use to be.We do have some very special memories and our kids have all turned out well and yes we had a small part in that.I will miss being a parent like I still miss playing baseball.As we get older we have to give up things and we know from experience that nothing stays the same.A lifetime seems to have passed by quickly when we are in the last part of it.I have been blessed beyond measure .I have loved and have been loved.For some reason dogs and grand kids like me.I think always having gum-a trick I picked up from Grandmother -helps with grands.I don't worry about retirement.I figure God has taken good care of me so far.I am in good health aside from an aching right knee and a little trouble reading road signs. We are all marching toward the exits. My Grandmother use to tell me she was ready to go home she was just tired.I understand  that now.My Mom taught me a prayer and it goes ...if I should die before I wake I pray the Lord my soul to take.If I should live another day I pray the the Lord to guide my ways-AMEN

Going Home

181 Wade Street was a special place for me-next door to my Mom,Grandmother, Aunt Dorothy,and my cousin John Turner.A place that we gutted in 1983 after selling our first house in Shannon,Ga and my starting chiropractic school.We spent 12years there .Everyone is gone now except Mom and she turns 78 tomorrow-hard to believe.The last few weeks I have been painting and cleaning up.Getting ready for the next tenant to move in.Amazing the things we left behind in the attic.All my diplomas,and the last letter Grandmother wrote Jessica.The laundry room/study room still had the same Burgundy paint-it is now gray.The linoleum in the kitchen is still the same as are the cabinets-don't build things like they use to.Josh and I built the big deck on the back.I think I drove him toward a medical career that day.Jessica knocked her front teeth out on a rowing machine one Thanksgiving.Justin wore the siding off one side of the house throwing a tennis ball against the house.I built a $3000 basketball court and 6 months later God called us into foster care and away from Wade Street-that was Aug 1,1995.I grew up on Wade Street.Spent almost 42 years there.When I go there I don't just see houses I see Tommy and Sara and Nancy and Patsy and Buddy and John Turner I see Dad and Big John and I remember as a kid never wanting Sunday to end because all the cousins came over.I see Big Mama peeling peaches and Grandmother pouring us some coke and a stream of dogs following her car down the road as she got home from Elaine's.A bicycle passed her once.And I see John.He and I spent every waking moment together for 10 years.Those memories are why Wade Street will always be a part of me.Rarely will so much family live so close.It was a special time and the reason my blog is titled A Long Time Gone.

A Father's Perspective

Growing up Father's Day had always been hard for me .I lost my dad when I was 5.I knew what I had missed but never knew how to make up for what I had missed.I did promise myself that if I ever had kids I would make up for what I didn't have.After I met Jolene I knew pretty quickly that she was the one -even though she did turn me down the first time I asked her out. After we were married about 15 months she told me Jessica would arrive in August ,at first I was in shock,not ready ,scared and yes worried that I wasn't up to the task. Jolene was so sick. I figured this would be our first and last child-who in their right mind would go through this again!Our friend Karen did a ultrasound about 5 months into the big event. The doc reading the ultrasound said "the most obvious male I had ever seen"-boy was he wrong .A beautiful red headed 9lbs plus arrived on 8/12/1978.I was in shock for the first 15 seconds because he was a she but then proceeded to fall madly in love with her as I would Josh and Justin.We took about a million pictures of her . A few thousand of Josh . And hardly any of Justin.All 3 would sleep in our room for years -guess we should of read more how to books back then.Who had time to play golf ,I had kids to play with.A patient asked me one time why I wasn't open on Saturdays.The kids had ballgames then and I didn't want to miss one.After getting home from work around 630 I longed to sit and read the newspaper uninterrupted for 20-30 minutes but football and baseball was more important than that.We make seeming little choices along life's way that can turn out to have a great impact upon our children. Being  a dad was pure joy-indescribable. So this year was the first one without any kids at home.All are grown and on their own now. Of course I made mistakes and have a few regrets but all in all it was a great ride! Since the kids are gone I guess I'll have to start acting my age except when the grand kids come over. Then its okay to eat chips in bed ,stay up late, and of course eat all the powdered donuts you want.So kids thanks for all the memories and most of all thank you God for letting me be part of their lives.

36

I think the first time I saw you you were in the 9th grade. You were always smiling and very friendly.Once we went on a double date-me with Karen ,you with Ray. 3 wonderful home grown kids,5 grand kids, and who knows how many foster kids-it has been a special time! Now it is mostly me and you like it was in the beginning.Well we do have Muggsey.It is nice .Riverbend was fun.I am more settled.More peace now.I appreciate you more.The fact that you are easy going-low maintenance. That you have been patient while I am" waiting" for a job.That you have stuck by me-well there are no words for that.Who knows why we travel the paths we do all I know is I am Glad I traveled them with you.

Romano

Since the age of 10 I had wanted to learn to play the guitar.My Mom spent $47 on one-a whole weeks pay for her- 40 something years ago. It had always bothered me that after a few weeks I hardly picked it up again.There are many things we plan on mastering yet for some reason we let a few linger and justify ourselves by saying "when I have more time".Due to a bad choice I made tragedy struck our family and all I had was time. I ordered a guitar and for the next 13 months it became my constant companion.After a few weeks my fingers were so sore I almost quit but they eventually became use to the strings and I kept at it.That guitar helped me to make it through a hard time and it meant a lot to me.
There was a guy named Romano that I let borrow it every Saturday when I went to the library to study.He was a guy who had been in and out of prison his whole life and had a very negative outlook about everything.Guess Jesus wasn't around perfect people either.As I prepared To leave I had given away everything but my guitar.I had went back and forth about giving it to Romano.He probably would trade it for cigarettes so I would just keep it.A few weeks earlier I had shared with Jessica about maybe giving it away. She knew what it meant to me but encouraged me to give it to him.The night before I was to leave the Lord really worked on me and at 7am I asked Romano to come over. As I handed him the guitar this hardened criminal ran into my arms and wept.He said that was the first thing anyone had given him in the last 25 years. As we got into the car to leave I told my daughter that maybe in a few days we could find a used guitar somewhere.When we arrived at her house I noticed a Martin guitar case on the table.I still cry when I think of that moment-seems she contacted some of my friends and told them the Romano story and Jess and Damien as well Rick, Mike and Lynette gave me a Martin  guitar. We sometimes try and hold on to things yet God has something far greater for us if we listen and follow Him.Romano and I write each other.He says he is praying for me and my family and that he saw God in me and that changed his life.As I play the guitar I thank Romano but mostly I thank God and I am reminded of a verse- Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your father which is in heaven.

Painting in Lexington

As I sit in Justin's office a flood of emotions covers me.His first house and a solid week of painting leave me exhausted yet at peace knowing that this will go down as a special week in our bank of memories. I am still amazed at God's timing.Neither he nor I will ever have another week where we can do handy man stuff together again yet God set aside this time for both of us.Much thanks for that Lord. I have never painted a whole house at one time-it seemed like endless miles of ceilings and walls. I will forget his red office and her chartreuse bathroom, the 12-14 hour days ,and the look on his face as he paid the Home Depot bill.What I won't forget is the time we shared as we worked together to prepare the place he would call home for the next 5 years.I feel the Lord saying to me spend time with me as I prepare where you will spend not only 5 years but eternity.We can teach our children many things but nothing can compare with teaching them to spend time with God .Of all of our experiences together I could sense this one was different for Justin. He saw me through different eyes.The refrigerator was 1" higher than the cabinet-no problem dad used his weird saw and an hour later it fit. Ceiling fans and light fixtures hung,no task was too much of a challenge for them. I only had my dad a few years I can only imagine how nice it would have been to have had more time with him. We do have a heavenly father who stands beside us as we walk through life.Lord walk beside Justin and Jana as they begin their life together .I load up my tools and prepare to leave knowing that time together will be harder to come by now.I am reminded of a poem that says don't just sing to me but teach me to sing for when I am alone I will need the melody. A fullness fills me as a silent voice whispers well done my son,well done.

Melody

Took Melody shopping the other day.It had been 4 years since I had done that.Found a lot of old memories that day.She still had the same tennis shoes I had bought her  back then.She still smiles at my jokes and we shared some chicken nuggets.I bought her some gray shoes with pink soles along with some snazzy shorts and a gray tank top.We ran a couple of miles and talked of old times .Time never stands still and although we long for the past sometimes we never quiet can grab hold of it.Every time I see her I say I am sorry a thousand times silently before we say good bye.There are some wounds that will never heal. In spite of it all we remain close. She sees me with forgiving eyes. I see her graduating from college and married soon .She reminds me that I would do it all again for she is so worth it.

Handyman

I have always enjoyed building things.My earliest memories are of my Dad building houses on Wade Street.Seeing that some how imparted to me that I could build anything.In Lexington at Josh and Ryan,s house my first project was a tree house minus the trees. I had gone almost 2 years without building anything but character. Every time I come up me and the kids find time to go there for a while and I am 10 again.My next project was a wall and door for their bedroom.I had to put in a light and a light switch as well.Of course I always called Joe -Jolene's Dad for electrical advice.It was one of the saddest calls we ever had-dementia had robbed him and all of us . Fortunately he had been a good teacher and like so much in life we have to figure things out on our own eventually.We tiled the bath room next.This weekend I put in a closet and pocket door.I crawled under the house and installed an outlet as my two doctor sons looked on and made comments about snakes-something was wrong with this picture. I got a chance to use my fancy nail guns-it only took me 58 years to catch up with technology.I am sure that their next house will be one that doesn't require any fixing up.It is kinda like being a parent-the kids don't need you as much as they move through life.Both sad and comforting at the same time. As I load my tools I realize this is probably my last project here.Then I hear Cash,Taylor,JJ,and Cooper playing in the backyard-they will all have houses and in 15 or 20 years they may have some projects-good thing I got those nail guns.

Memories

I was in the attic of my old office I had built in 1992.The task was to dispose of some files some dating back to November 1987. I opened the boxes and picked up the files-their faces came to life as I read each name.Betty had a son Timmy after everyone told her she never would. Teresa had headaches for years in a few weeks they were gone. Jerry literally crawled into the office and walked out.H e came every week for 10 years because he never wanted that pain again.Nancy was one of my first patients when I ran the office by myself.She would work for me for the next 10 years. Mr Knight couldn't breathe -I adjusted one of his ribs and he was normal again.I was privileged to do that sort of thing for 10 years. To be honest I took those tiny daily miracles for granted.As I read file after file it became a reunion of sorts.Thousands of people most of which I hadn't thought about in years-yet the sweetness of those experiences remained.People come into and out of our lives all the time.The trick is to live in the moment.After a few hours,I realized it was hot after the all the files were gone.I appreciated that time so long ago and I was thankful to the Lord above letting me spend a few hours there again".No one can bring back the hour of splendor in the grass or glory in the flower .It is for us the living rather to find strength in what remains behind'.

STEVEN

How could it be 4 years since I had seen him? As we caught each others eye only one thing seemed clear at the time-I wanted to hold him close.Make up for all those years of separation and take away the sadness wrapped around his face.He was 13 the last time I had seen him.Now his lip showed signs of a moustache as he was further along the rode to manhood. His right arm had been useless since birth but you would never know it.He was always so helpful around the house and he never tired of going to Home Depot with me.He was 5 when  his 3 brothers and 2 sisters came to live with us.I was the only father he had ever known.I always use to say "LIFE IS ABOUT CHOICES AND THOSE CHOICES WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE".Our actions touch everyone we are close to,for the good or the bad.I made a bad choice and so many lives were effected.How does one make up for that?You can't get back the lost years .And yes, your heart can ache forever.We talked for about 10 minutes-maybe it was wishful thinking on my part-but his face started to light up as we laughed and tried to squeeze every second out.I told him how much I had missed him. How proud I was of him.That seeing him had made my day.That I would always love him.As we hugged goodbye,I silently thanked God for this time,and for putting our hearts back together.

More Fire Than Water

I was back in my element-Talking with patients,joking with the staff, advising people,but more importantly being a light not so I could be seen more clearly but so those that passed my way would get a better glimpse our Lord.We forget who we represent sometimes, at least I do.The words of a song the Lord gave come to mind- Sometimes I'm fine . Sometimes I do okay. Then  sometimes I fall on my knees and pray.Come on Jesus, come on down ..... It only seems like yesterday that I started practicing. So busy that when the day ended I would sit out front with the last patient and feel a sense of accomplishment, a fullness that I haven't had since those days.I am seeking direction-not quiet ready to hang it up and rock my days away.Being patient and waiting has never been my strong suit maybe that is why I am in this place.An old chiropractic friend said - you have to have more fire than they have water.I am still being shaped and refined by the Lord- so Lord in the time I have left use me ,shape me ,hold me close,put my heart back together.But please don't put the fire out just yet-Thanks

Retread

Sometimes you travel down a path you swore you would never go down again.Life is a good teacher.My days are made up of small pieces now . Not much time to tarry.I was sick last week-the sickest I have ever been in my life. Made me realize that if you lose your health you lose a lot.Someone told me when they are nauseous they just want their Moma.There is still some child -like qualities in all of us.In the hard places of our lives there  HE is. Holding us close .Saying over and over "I am with you". When you know He is with you you have no fears. You are out of reach from this world and the things that may try and harm you. It is sad it takes so long but with age we come to understand how the inevitability of time adds beauty to the moment.

COOPER

I blinked and he turned 5 today.Due to numeruos difficulties with people saying and spelling my name I have developed somewhat of a name phobia-especially when it comes to my grandchildren.I always wanted a cool sounding name. Something that drew to mind a combination of actor/athelete/superhero.Tough yet sensative.Thoughtful,kind. A man's man but more importantly a man or woman that God would be proud of.I never wanted them to have my name sinced I'd already traveled that route.Funny what time does to one's perceptions.I can't imagine any 5 of them having any name but their own now. It really is the person that makes the name not the other way around. So today is Cooper's day.I remember my daughter telling me fairly soon after Julian was born that another would be ariving soon. I am reminded everytime I see those two together that God's timing is indeed perfect.Cooper is a dardevil.No doubt he will be a sky diving/mountain climbing/deep water diver.He has that smile that makes you think he is up to something.That same smile also warms your heart as he passes by going 90 miles an hour. He jumps in for a quick hug and then he's back on the runway readying for another take-off. So Happy Birthday Super Hero-I mean Cooper.Love you-Papa

River Walk

February is known for its cold weather that causes us to silently pray for spring time.Only yesterday God smiled on us and gave us 60 degrees with sunshine.My wife and I used this time to walk the river walk in Chattanooga.After our walk we dined outside on soup and salad.On our way there we passed a mom chasing her two young children. She looked at me and asked if I wanted a couple of kids.My wife and I looked at each other and smiled. Should I tell her how fast that time goes by- and yes you will miss it.Some things are better left unsaid.

LOT OF MILES/LOT OF MEMORIES

Talked with an old friend the other day. At one time we were traveling a similar path and so we were able to share time together for several years.Hard to believe it has been 2 years since we had last talked. People come in and out of our lives all the time.I use to think that certain people would always be a part of my life. Time and distance really don't matter with those we truly connect with.Is it that we are so busy now or that we tire of making the effort to stay in touch-maybe a little bit of both. To have a friend one must be a friend-it does take some effort.I really never have had a best friend since high school. You get married and kids come along and if you are lucky they become your best friends.While I am not a big party person ,I do like being around people. I enjoy sharing what the kids are up to and of course all about the grandkids.And of course we talk of the past and how quickly time has gone by.As my friend and I ran out of words to say we both agreed to stay in touch.As I hung up the phone I felt a tear roll down my cheek serving as a reminder-that part of me will always miss that time we shared so long ago.

The Critical Inch

There are no courses we can take.Nor enough prayers that we can throw up to the heavens to prepare us for parenthood. And just when we think we know what we are doing our angels become teenagers.One year we had seven teens living in our home at the same time-we were on our knees a lot.We have no children at home now but as strange as this may sound I miss being a parent.Over the years we had three home grown kids and dozens of others kids that we were parents to.We have times when we honestly don't know what to do. It seems hopeless.We think someone else could raise them or do a better job.I gave up on a few kids. It is so easy to tell yourself it is for the greater good and that life would be so much easier for everyone. My advice to my own children about the grands is to tell them you will love them through anything and I will never give up on you.We all lose our way sometimes.Getting older has simplified my life. I'd much rather be kind than to be right.My way or the highway sounds good but WWJD .      I call it the critical inch.When things go bad and we have to respond to something we are totally unprepared for. It happens a lot in the teenage years. Trust me there is a battle raging and we must soldier on.As Winston Churchill once said ,"never,never give up".

JOHN

The first person I remember playing with was my cousin John.Up until age 11 we spent practically every waking moment together.Building huts in the woods.Throwing the football,playing basketball,and playing strike-out with our one baseball.We  use to go down to Owens Hardware and spend hours looking at all the gloves and jerseys. Kids now never have to wait on things but back then it gave us a chance to dream. We also spent a good deal of time looking at the Sears catalog.For years I had my eye on a Daisy BB gun.Mom knew best.She thought me or John might shoot one of our eyes out. J C Grant and his wife Buella ran what would now be called a convenience store. For 10 cents you could get a Coke and a pack of Lays potato chips.Bob the barber was next door. A place where a haircut was a dollar and the conversation  was a real education especially for me and John.John had a dog named Boots and mine was Chubby.They followed us everywhere. Grandmother Hare had a dog named Tiny.Lassie was a popular TV show as well as Rin Tin Tin.Hard to imagine that the television was invented only a few years before I was born and then we only had 3 channels. John and I knew everyone on Wade Street.Who their parents were and where their Dads worked-even their dog's names.Most Moms stayed at home. School started with the first grade.Don't ever remember anyone having ADHD or being "bipolar" Or needing counseling. If you didn't pass you failed.Guess no one worried too much about what it would do to your self esteem back in those days.John failed the 1st grade but neither of us minded since that meant we would both be in the same grade or so we thought.At Celanese Elementary the incoming 1st grade class was so large they had 2 classes. My teacher was a short stocky lady named Ms Wilkes. John had a sweet teacher named Mrs Baker.The first grade was hard for me as I had lost my Dad a few months before school started.Really the only way I passed was about half way through the year my Mom started taking Her home from school. Back in those days teachers made little money and it was a struggle if you were single.Ms Wilkes had always been single.John and I would start riding the bus in the 2nd grade and that would vault us into more and more independence.Even today ,though we don't see each other often,a closeness remains that can never be broken

Hope Survived and Love Endured

He still remembers the first time he saw her. She was so friendly.Who knows what makes us choose who we love-it is almost as if we don't have a choice.We played cards and we rode in my red 1954 GMC truck.We listened to the Eagles ,and I watched soap operas for the first time.Our lips were like magnets-I couldn't get enough of her.Kids came along and they became our focus.We get lost sometimes in the day to day.We think certain things are important but in the end the only thing that really matters is that we have loved and have been  loved in return. Their world fell apart and it would have been so easy to give up. Some way ,some how,hope survived and love endured.He thanked her for 34 years and said "as I wrote 35 years ago- one day with you is better than a lifetime with anyone else"-now just give me a lifetime with you-I am still learning!

Hallelujah Amen

The drive here seems to fly since we discovered audio books.In many ways it is nice to be free to respond to the things that jump out at us -particularly with a growing family.I was excited to get to my baby sitting gig. To hear their voices filled with excitement as they say -Papa is here. The biggest adjustment is sharing my bed at night since rumors of my excessive snoring had insisted that my wife and I have separate sleeping arrangements. The Grand Kids don't even notice it -yet. Lying next to me on this night is my first Grandson.I remember wondering if I would love them as I did my children .I laugh as I recall that question -not even a sharp elbow and knee will disrupt this little peace of heaven tonight.Of course Papa fixed the" best eggs they had ever eaten"and even the orange juice was the "best ever".As we drove to school I remembered the prayer I had started many years ago-Dear Lord live within us these days. Bless all that we shall do and say. Shine within us like the sun. So that we may be good to everyone.    Hallelujah Amen. As I watched them carry their back packs into school I found myself already wishing for 2:30 .

Little Things

It is often the little things that we often take for granted.I went about 2 years without a comfortable chair,or the feather pillow I had depended upon and of course good food;however,it was the people in my life that I missed the most.The laughter.The hugs.Seeing little legs run.Talking several times a week to my kids . Having a cup of coffee with my wife .Using a computer. Hearing my favorite word now - Papa.In a strange way I was given a unique insight-a chance to take an inventory of my life .To put away those things that really had little value and to finally focus on the only thing that truly lasts LOVE. As I get older time seems to speed up. I realize my blue jeans went out of style 20 years ago and yes they are a little baggy-never understood why a guy would want a tight fit. I think everything is too high except stuff at Lowes or Home Depot.What a crisis we would face if Walmart weren't here. In another 10 years I may learn how to use my iphone.For now I turn the fireplace on. Grab a cup of coffee.Relaxing into my favorite chair I smile and say a special thank you as another day unfolds.

ADIE

We celebrated her 2nd year tonight.There was cupcakes and laughter and presents and pizza. I look into her eyes and I'm taken back 30 years and her Mom is in my lap driving on the bumppty road. One generation folds into the next . If you are lucky as I am your kids become your best friends and their  kids well they are just pure joy. My daughter told me one time Dad if they do something wrong spank them -well its been 6 years and so far they haven't done anything wrong. Tonight was Adie's night. She liked the whipped cream sprayed in her mouth, the princess jewlery, and of course the doll. I could spend all night just watching her smile. JJ and Cooper are the perfect brothers as they help her open each gift and try out each present. Tonight I missed Dorothy, Grandmother Hare, and Mom and Wade Street. I wanted the kids to be young again.I wanted us all to be young again . One day was all I asked for -Happy Birthday Adie- Thanks for the memories.

JOE

The first time I met him was at Etowah Park. He was playing baseball with his son and I was finishing one of the endless rounds of batting practice that Rick , Mike , and I had taken the last ten years. We had started at  the park when it was an endless field of dirt and the balls were taped since niehter of u s could afford new ones. I gave the man and his son some balls since they only had one . I was taken by how nice he was .Little did I know that one day he would become my Father-n-law. In all the years I have known him I have never seen him mad or utter a curse word. We look for examples for ourselves but particularly for our children.Hard worker ,easy to please, even keel, consistancy over time, same job for over 40 years, lose your leg at work one night and never utter a why me .That is the stuff of heroes. The likes of which we will most likely  never see again.

DAD

I grew up on Wade St.many years ago. It was a simpler time and we were poor but didn't know it.I built a house when I was three and I saw the world tumble down at five .To explain a bit- my Dad died when I was five but before he passed away he built 6 houses and I sort of helped . My Dad is gone but those houses have sustained us for almost 60 years. I have remodeled  most of them and in  strange way when I worked on them I felt his presence. One time in an attic I found one of his hammers- I won the lottery that day.I know that I could never sell any of those houses.  Hardly a day passes that I don't think of him and I wondered what if more times than I can count. I hope he has a view of all he is still such a part of down here- I told him a while back that we hit the jack-pot with our kids .I wish he could be here but really I know that he is.