Easter

I have to admit I was reluctant to spend time with her on this day.My son and his wife were home and we had a very busy day at the office.She was so needy.High blood pressure,overweight,depressed and blood sugar levels off of the chart.We went by Walgreens to get the prescriptions filled-it would be 30 minutes.Of course I will pick them up later no point in tying up the whole day.Then she said she hadn't eaten the whole day and without thinking I said how about Chick-fil-a. I have written before about Gods call to "feed my sheep".It is never convenient and it is never easy.Is 30 minutes too much to give a fellow human being?No doubt it was a Devine appointment.Most of us will get dressed up tomorrow in our Sunday best and look forward to an inspiring sermon and angelic music.Hellen will be sitting alone waiting for the phone to ring.The only thing under my control was this day ,this moment.I realize every day how loved and how blessed I am.Now I am face to face with one who is not as loved and not as blessed as I am.So I try to encourage her.Give her a hug and tell her she is loved.She is crying as she gets out of the car not because she is sad but because another person cares about her and that is so rare in her life.We make things so complicated He says Love and if you love Me "feed my sheep ".I promise Him I will do better with that in the future.I also realize my Easter sermon arrived a little early this year thanks to Hellen.

Ramblings

Five years ago I made a mistake that seeming marked me for the rest of my life. Funny thing about that God used that time to refine me and draw me closer to Him.I know I am a much better person as a result .Not Luke warm any more.Society on the other hand,rarely forgets and thinks no one should be given a second chance.It is truly painful when one of your own feels that way as well.To love as God loves - unconditionally,not an easy thing to do.It had always been a dream of mine to work with my sons.It is always painful when dreams don't work out.The trick is to go on to the next thing on the list.To somehow keep the music playing even when you don't feel like dancing. It is so important to never give up on someone even when they let you down.I decided several years ago not to be around anyone that made me feel uncomfortable nor waste one minute of time doing something that I was miserable doing.Decisions that help me finally begin to know what I want in life.A road map where the only destination is peace.God commands us to love one another -haven't seen anything about spend time with.So I will continue to love - even those that make me uncomfortable - from a distance.I can still hear Grandmother Hare saying  "If it doesn't kill you it will make you stronger"Grandmother I sure hope you were right!

Transformed

A text message from a friend whose ministry mainly gives hope to teenagers.He has never asked me for anything so when he did ,without a thought ,I said yes.Of course it would be hard.Of course later in the year would be better but then I thought someone will be at Winterfest that needs to hear Dean and what is that worth?Transformation.Exactly what we need to be when God calls.Not something we would do on our own.Over the last few years God has spoken to me and to be perfectly honest sometimes it made no sense-you want me to give money- have you seen my bank account? Haven't I spent enough time with him?When we hear Him it transforms us.It may not be logical but our God is so much bigger than we can ever imagine. Dean was the first person who visited me in jail.He was the man that asked if I could show him how to be a father.He visited me in prison.Is $750 too much to pay for that? Trust me there is no amount of money for that kind of friend ship and of course it has nothing to do with money.A few years ago Jesus ask 12 guys to follow him.Amazingly they all did.He rarely asks us to step out of our comfort zones.We are all in the process of being transformed,and if we listen closely perhaps we will hear Him

Divorce

A friend casually said we are getting a divorce.Her words came without emotion and with more than    atouch of releaf.The saying marriage is about love but divorce is about money.It saddens me how easy it all is to throw away.On this day I hear how they will always love each other but they just grew apart.Get back to me when you start dividing up the goods.I thought a few years ago we might be better off apart.No doubt there were some broken parts and of course there are things we would change about each other.I feel differently now she is part of me .We talk without speaking sometimes.She knows me.Our kids and grand kids.We are family and yes best friends.Divorce is like dying .An ending.The unknown.Who gets the friends -things are easy to divide.Time will eventually take care of most of the pain.There is a saying"The world eventually breaks everyone ,and some people get stronger at the breaks"